Humanly Honest

"Honesty is such a lonely word. Everyone is so untrue. Honesty is hardly ever heard. And mostly what I need from you."  Billy Joel
These lyrics are from one of Billy Joel's most popular songs which was, believe it or not, the theme for my junior prom in 19...never mind. Lovely thought for the junior prom, don't you think? "Everyone is so untrue." Well, I guess if you think about it, honesty is what we really want from those closest to us. We want honest relationships where we can say what we really think and feel and be loved just the same.  We want to know and be known. But at the same time, we are often afraid of what people will think of us, so we "put on a mask", so to speak, and cover up who we really are with all our questions, quirks and general messiness. We choose to show only our best to the world and ignore the rest.

I recently finished reading the book "Choosing to SEE" by Mary Beth Chapman.  She is the wife of well-known Christian singer/songwriter Stephen Curtis Chapman. Unfortunately, the whole family received national attention when they tragically lost their 5-year-old Maria in an accident in the family driveway. What impressed me most about her book was, not how the whole family is so strong to get through such a horrific experience, or what a great gal Mary Beth is (although I do think she'd be a great person to have a cup of coffee with). What impressed me about her book was her honesty. She shares much about her life and the final third or so,of the book covers the tragedy of May 21, 2008 and the time following. Much of it reprints  her blogs as she struggled to cope, to understand, to go on with life. She shares her questions, her anger, her fears for her other children. She shares her deliberate choice to trust in God's goodness even when the whole thing seems to make no sense. She disarmingly shared many personal details and let the reader in on the family's indescribable pain and journey of healing.
We might use the phrases "painfully honest" or "brutally honest" to describe how Mary Beth wrote, but I think I would choose the phrase "humanly honest" to describe her. Too many times those who profess a whole-hearted commitment to Christ choose to "show their best face" in times of tragedy and struggle, rather than just be honest about how they feel. If I, as a Christian, come across as someone with no needs why would anyone think that I have something that they need? Mary Beth showed herself to be a real person who finds her strength in faith, even when God seems to make no sense at all. She showed herself to be a human being with deep needs like every other human being. She showed herself to be one who finds herself relying on God to meet those deep needs in ways that no one else can touch.
So, is everyone "so untrue"? I hope not. I struggle with how much of my "junk" to share with others. I think I often come across as one of those with "no needs". Of course, that is absolutely not true and definitely not intentional, but knowing when to "let it all hang out" can be a bit tricky. I have learned, though, that I can "let it all hang out" with God.  If He loves me, then wouldn't it follow that He wants honesty from me? I firmly believe that He can handle all my "junk" better than anyone else. I honestly do.



For more on Mary Beth Chapman's book click here. 

Amy Grant's newest song does a great job describing God's desire for honesty from those who call on Him. Click on the title to hear the song and see the lyrics.
Better Than a Hallelujah