Hot Buttons! DO NOT TOUCH!

HOT SURFACE! DO NOT TOUCH!  I am not one of those people who would see a sign like that and then put my hand near the surface just to make sure. If I know that something is hot, then I want to protect myself. I am staying as far away as possible!

Wouldn't it be nice if people had some kind of warning label to alert you to their "hot" buttons? We all have them. Some of us don't show them as much, but they are still there. The closer you are to someone, the more you get to know what really pushes those "hot" buttons. Maybe you are like me. I try to avoid those triggers whenever possible for two reasons. Reason number one: I care about those I love and I know they don't like to have their buttons pushed any more than I like to push them. Reason number two: I don't enjoy conflict. I don't enjoy getting "burned". So like the hot surface, if I can avoid that unpleasant experience, then I will! I have to be honest and say that I think Reason number two is probably a higher motivation. Self-preservation over selfless protection probably rules the day. Ugh!

My "hot" buttons are less obvious than other people's to the untrained observer. I am an internal processor. That doesn't mean I get less annoyed, I am just quieter about it. To the untrained eye that may appear to be patience and strength of character, but I know better! Patience is an internal quality that is expressed in an outer attitude. In certain instances I may appear patient, but I know that I am not!

Case in point: I work in a school and interact with many students, most of whom do not bother me at all. However, there is the rare student that pushes my "hot" buttons. Something in their attitude or behavior ticks me off inside, not just once, but every time they are in the room. I have been more aware lately that true patience, the kind that is considered a virtue or what the Bible calls a "fruit of the Spirit", goes much deeper than my external efforts to be civil with the person who brings me to a boil inside. True patience, also called "long-suffering", means that I don't just deal with my outer behavior, but my inner attitude. Perhaps because I can "keep the lid on" my behavior I haven't worked as hard at understanding my own "hot buttons" as I have at understanding others so that I can protect myself.

Because I want to be truly patient and not just appear to be so, I guess it's time for some self-observation. I don't want to just "keep the lid on". I want to disable the "hot" button completely!

HOT BUTTONS ALREADY PUSHED! APPROACH AT YOUR OWN RISK!