Live the life you have.
Eleanor’s life was never what she would have chosen. She was unloved by
her mother, orphaned by age 10, raised by relatives, married to a distant
cousin whose mother dominated their lives, lost one of her six children in
infancy, endured her husband’s infidelity and crippling illness (Ashby 1995) . She began as a shy
and insecure young woman, but, through the trials she faced, chose to overcome
her fears and disappointment to live the life she had, for her own benefit and the
benefit of all those she could influence. It’s my conclusion that Eleanor began
to find herself when she lost her husband’s intimate affection. They were married in 1905, but after she confronted
her husband’s affair with his secretary in 1918 (Ashby 1995) , the marriage
changed. It was their choice to remain married in the legal sense, but they
ceased to function as a normal married couple. Over time they developed a very
effective and affectionate partnership, but it was after the loss of the
marriage that Eleanor developed her interest and activities outside the home. She
became the woman of influence that she was because of her trials, not in spite
of them.
Are you letting your
trials and disappointments prevent you from moving forward? They will shape you
no matter how you choose to face them. Allow them to propel you forward toward
fulfilling your potential instead of holding you back. Disappointments and loss
are not a reason to curl up and die. They are an invitation to envision life in
a new way.
Take advantage of every opportunity. Eleanor Roosevelt worked
within her husband’s places of influence to develop her own. She became her own
public person both because of and separate from her husband’s place of influence. (Harness 2003) Eleanor had been
developing her own involvement and her own public forum for years through political
participation in women’s causes and social issues. She was concerned that
becoming First Lady might end pursuit of her own political interests since at
the time the role of First Lady was primarily that of Hostess-In-Chief. Instead,
she forever altered our understanding of the First Lady’s role. Through her
daily newspaper column, “My Day”, which she continued by typewriter and
telephone from wherever she was in the world (Roosevelt 1992) she reached ordinary
people with her thoughts and ideas.
Through radio broadcasts, global travel and speeches she championed
social causes and called for societal reform. Throughout all of this she also
represented her husband and influenced his decisions. One biographical article
even called her “…a full partner in the task of the presidency, deeply involved
in politics, in the operation of government agencies and in the conduct of
public affairs.” (Means 1963)
The Eleanor quote on
the magnet I bought at the Valkill gift shop says, “Do one thing every day that
scares you.” I chose it because at the time I was becoming aware that fear was
something that had put a limit on my ability to fulfill my God-given potential.
I had already determined that I didn't want fear to be the reason that I didn't do something. Eleanor’s quote is a constant reminder to continue to look beyond
the comfortable and be who I was created to be, to take advantage of the
opportunities around me.
There are
opportunities waiting for you to engage. Despite the idiom, opportunity will
not knock on your door. Opportunities wait to be explored and discovered. They
are all around you. What opportunities exist for you in the sphere where you
are already living? Open your eyes. Pray. Look around. Find the place where you
can begin to be a person of influence and get involved.
It’s not over till it’s over. It has been said that Eleanor
Roosevelt is “the only First Lady who increased her own prestige and her
efforts on behalf of mankind after her husband’s death.” (Means 1963) She served as a delegate to the United
Nations, appointed by her husband’s Vice President and successor President
Harry Truman, and as chairman of the United Nations Commission on Human Rights.
(Means 1963) Through the adoption
of Universal Declaration of Human Rights in 1949 (Ashby 1995) she influenced the entire
world. She continued to be active and involved globally. Her last official
position came just a year before her death when she served in 1961 as chair of
President Kennedy’s Commission on the Status of Women. (Ashby 1995) Since Eleanor
Roosevelt’s death at the age of 78 in 1962 (the year I was born), we have had one
First Lady become Secretary of State, yet none of her successors has come close to the sweeping and lasting influence
of Eleanor Roosevelt.
There were quite a few
times in her life when Eleanor could have called it quits. She could have
decided that she had done enough, or been hurt enough by life, and just retired
to her little cottage called Valkill in Hyde Park, NY. But she never stopped,
even as she neared 80 years old. She
spent her life for the benefit of others and used her influence to do as much
good as she could.
You and I may not
agree with Eleanor on everything that she fought for or stood for, but we can
never fault her for letting disappointment or fear or age hold her back. She
fully committed herself to live the life she had, taking advantage of every
opportunity until the very end of life. Every one of us can do that! Go for it,
my friend!
Works Cited
Ashby, Ruth. "Eleanor Roosevelt." In
Herstory: Women Who Changed the World , by Ruth Ashby and
Deborah Gore, 199-201. New York: Viking, 1995.
"Eleanor Roosevelt." In Rabble
Rousers: 20 Women Who Made a Difference , by Cheryl Harness,
46-47. New York: Dutton Children's, 2003.
"Anna Eleanor Rooselvelt." In The
Woman in the White House; the Lives, times and Influence of Twelve Notable
First Ladies , by Marianne Means, 189-214. New York: Random
House, 1963.
Roosevelt, Eleanor. "The Autobiography of
Eleanor Roosevelt." New York: DeCapo Press, 1992.
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