Always tell the truth as graciously as possible. We have
all heard the phrase “a little white lie”. The implication is that a “white lie”
is an acceptable lie, even a necessary one to spare someone’s feelings. But a
lie is a lie is a lie. It’s never really okay.
I tend to be very aware of other people’s feelings and try
really hard, sometimes too hard, to avoid hurting them. There was a particular
time when I answered someone’s question in a way that was meant to spare the
person’s feelings, yet I left the conversation feeling uneasy. In talking it
out with my husband, he pointed out that I was feeling uneasy because I had
lied. I had never thought of it that way and the revelation shocked me! It’s
been very important to me to tell the truth and equally important not to hurt
people’s feelings, but at that moment I realized that sometimes the two can
fight for supremacy. In those cases the truth must win. It can be delivered in
a gracious and loving way, but in order for us to be authentic we must tell the
truth!
If you can't do it, say so. As we step out into new
territory we are going to be asked to take on new responsibilities. It’s going
to feel really good to be sought after and offered new opportunities. It is
going to be tempting to say “yes” to every offer and every opportunity. In
order to remain genuine you and I need to honestly evaluate each opportunity
based on our actual abilities, schedule, etc. It can be really hard to say “no”.
We can’t be concerned about the other person’s reaction. We need to be most
concerned with being honest about our God-given capabilities and circumstances.
It’s necessary in our quest to be the “real thing”.
People-pleasing causes dishonesty. This is a huge area of
potential downfall for most of us, whether we realize it or not. We are often
unaware when our responses are motivated by people-pleasing. We all want to be
loved, appreciated, and affirmed. We want people to notice our good work, our
strong character, our ability to face challenges. We will tend to tell the best
about ourselves and leave out the faults. We will tend to say “yes” to people
because we don’t want to make them upset with us.
In order to grow in being the “real thing”, authentic and
genuine, we need to evaluate how much we are motivated by people-pleasing. The
only way to overcome it is to begin to recognize it. When you get right down to
the core there is really only One worth pleasing. He is more easily pleased
than we think, and is most pleased when we are truthful since He is the Truth.
Don’t hesitate to be truthful with others. Be as gracious as
you can. Make your goal to be authentic and genuine rather than to please people.
Make your goal to please God instead. You will find it much more satisfying!